Negotiation Generation

I was at the library to get a book on parenting and found 2 awesome books I wanted to share.
I totally recommend both. they are awesome
"How to behave so your children will too!" by Sal Severe (i heard about this one from a friend giving it as a baby shower gift) It is a great book on how you can become a proactive parent. It explains how you can act differently to your childs responses to create better behaviors in your child. It works on raising a cooperative child while still giving them age appropriate freedoms. Very positive book. I love this one because it discusses what i as a parent can do in creating more harmony in my home.


"Negotiation Generation" Lynn Reeves Griffin (a friend told me that when she read a book about "stop negotiating and start parenting", it changed the whole outlook on raising and teaching her 2 children. I am not sure if this is the book or not but it is awesome. It Talks about how we have become a society that instead of setting clear boundries for our children we negotiate with them and end up with our children in control of everything and how out of control our homes become. She sets up clear positive ways to set boundries that are age appropriate and following through without feeling like you are punishing your children when they test their boundries.

There were a few quotes i wanted to share.
This first one is about when she does her workshops, she asks for volunteers.
"If you volunteer to assist me, i ask you to join me on stage and stand facing me. There's a chair behind where you're standing. The directions are simple: just do what i tell you to do as i tell you to do it. Are you ready?
"don't stand. Stop looking at me. Don't sit down. Stop looking at teh audience. Don't turn to your right; don't turn to your left. No laughing"
As the exercise progresses, you're likely to feel flustered because you can't seem tochoose the right thing to do, or to do anything right. Some volunteers laugh because they're embarrased they can't seem to figure out exactly what i want them to do.
At first the directions seem simple enough, but the reason they're difficult to follow is because they're really a two-part exercise for your brain. First you must figure out the opposite of what i've asked you to do. then you have to actually do this opposite action. There's no question about it: whether you're a parent or a child, directions are clearer when phrased in the positive. "sit down. Look at the audience. stand up . look at me. turn left. turn right.""


The other point that they made, which I thought was very interesting, is that it is harder today to parent than it was in our parents and grandparents day and age. Back then people had generally the same values and morals. But because everyone has such differing values today it can be confusing to parent and confusing for the child why he isn't allowed to do something that others may do.

Anyway........i totally love these two books and totally recommend